he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
