I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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