you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize