Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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