see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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