I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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