it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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