so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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