I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
