Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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