dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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