haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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