i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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