So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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