I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
