is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
