no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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