4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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