just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
