After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
