its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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