that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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