And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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