as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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