I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
only you would photoshop your dick
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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