Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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