Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
