New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I had to cum in my sink.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
