My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
