I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
