I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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