Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
