you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
