C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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