Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm like, not good at living.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
