he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
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He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
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You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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