she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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