He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
