I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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