remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
