i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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