I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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