KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
