i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
