I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
