So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
