remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize