Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
