"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
