there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Less talking, more tequila
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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