so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
