i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
