I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I fill condoms, not promises.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
