you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize