Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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