I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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