Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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