she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
