Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
