He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
